A Vietnamese traditional engagement ceremony or Ask for the bride Ceremony is a tradition that can be considered a marriage essential in Vietnam, often held before the wedding. It has been continuously maintained over hundreds of years, making it a must-have stage in every traditional wedding in Vietnam.
Both families will agree on a good day to hold this ceremony at the bride’s house. The chosen time is carefully based on the propitious time and day of the lunar calendar. Each family then selects a representative. This person is a family member who has a happy life and a high ranking position in the family. They will prepare a speech to talk in front of two families.
Before coming to the bride’s house on the engagement day, the groom’s family will prepare many gifts. Traditionally, the gifts were placed on several trays. The number must be an odd number of 5, 7, or 9 depending on the fiancé family’s condition. All trays will have red silk above them.
Vietnamese believe that the odd numbers and the red color are signs of luck, essential for a happy marriage. Depending on the number of the trays, each family will choose young, unmarried boys and girls to bring and receive the gifts.
In the Vietnamese traditional engagement ceremony, the groom’s family, along with these young people, will bring the gifts to the bride’s house. They will have a warm welcome from the bride’s family. On this day, the bride’s house will have beautiful decorations. Still, red is one of the main colors that is chosen. However, we do try new colors now, like white or gold.
receiving the gifts, the young couple prays in front of the fiancée’s family altar to ask for the fiancée’s ancestors’ approval. When this ritual finishes, the couple can officially announce themselves as fianceé and fiancé.
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